The Holy See of Discord · Canonization Office

Canonize a Saint

Sanctus Est Quisquis Dicitur Sanctus — a saint is whoever gets called one

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There are five classes of Discordian Saints, per the Law of Fives. Only Saint Second Class is open to living human beings; the higher honors are reserved for the dead and the fictional, who — being unencumbered by existence — are far better at perfection. The Office will assign the correct class. The Office is never wrong. The Office is also never right, which balances out.

Note: Saint First Class remains vacant. No candidate, real or imagined, has yet qualified, and the Office has stopped taking applications. Sainthood conveys no salary, relics are the saint's own responsibility, and beatification is skipped entirely as a cost-saving measure.